you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize