You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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