We won't sleep together?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
