Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
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i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
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I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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