I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
