What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She's the barista slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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