he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
