found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
