shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Sext me about skeletons
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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