WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
