I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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