How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I know her cup size but not her name....
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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