God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
