lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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