This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
