The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just cropdusted the office
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize