ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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