There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
