Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
