We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
