And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
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i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
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I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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