At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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