His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
