i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
