I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
