Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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