just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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