Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
