he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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