I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
