she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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