she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
