He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
