I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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