Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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