Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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