The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
