sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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