i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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