I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
