I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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