I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
