Moan for me like Helen Keller
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize