alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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