i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
