I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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