so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
