I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
