He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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