It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize