I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
