do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever