So how was he last night?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dating After Heartbreak
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck