on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.