puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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