Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
